31 Days of Christmas Movies Marathon: Day 25 – The Yule Log

Welcome to my 31 Days of Christmas movie marathon.  This is a feature where I watch a different Christmas movie every day from now until Christmas.  The rules are simple: The movie has to be something I haven’t already seen and I must watch at least one Christmas-themed movie a day from now until December 25th.  They’ll be some bad ones and hopefully a lot of great ones.  Why put myself through this?  Because it’s a good way to catch up on a lot of Christmas movies and a good way to satisfy my OCD.

On the 25th day of Christmas my true love gave to me… The Yule Log

To award a movie with five platinum stars (the highest rating possible) means only one thing; a true work of ingenious perfection.  The Yule Log, as long and repetitive as it is (over 24 hours), has this distinct honor.

There are many reasons as to why I call this movie “genius”, but the best reason is that it is the only movie I know of that I can leave  for several hours and upon returning feel confident that I didn’t miss a damn thing.  That’s unbelievable, right?  Well, you best believe!  I have been watching this fantastic flaming film every year on the same day and have yet to sit through the entire thing.  But it’s so freaking awesome that staying glued to the screen every second and trying to use my brain isn’t even a requirement, a feat director Michael Bay is still trying to accomplish.  It’s hard to explain without spoiling the movie how this can be, but trust me when I tell you that watching every moment of this movie is not necessary when it comes to basking in its fiery flawlessness.

Equally impressive as the Yule Log’s ability to captivate regardless of when you put it on is its running time.  Did I mention that this fucker is over 24 hours long!  That’s crazy, right?  What kind of director would be willing to tackle such a feat?  I’ll tell you what kind.  The kind of director who values the art of filming an epic long piece of art in one single take.  The kind of director modest enough to remain anonymous.  The kind of director who appreciates the profoundness of simplicity over more boring and complex movie elements such as character development, plot, script, actors, you know, the usual bullshit seen in just about every film made since the actual birth of film.  I’ll bet you if Steven Spielberg, or Martin Scorsese thought of filming this, that their names would be all over it.

I can’t think of any other movie where I could start watching during the 16th hour and not feel as if I missed anything.  I know exactly what’s happening, what the characters are doing (spoiler alert: Contrary to what the movie’s title suggests, there is more than one character, or log if you will, in the movie), why they’re doing it and what will ultimately become of them.  This is also one of the only movies where its obvious predictability is not only welcome, but its greatest asset as well.

There really isn’t too much more to say about The Yule Log other than I think I’m going to decorate our bathroom with a yule log of my own.

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Categories: Reviews

2 Comments on “31 Days of Christmas Movies Marathon: Day 25 – The Yule Log”

  1. Tom Ellis
    December 25, 2011 at 10:16 am #

    I love you

  2. Nick Petrick
    December 31, 2011 at 12:37 am #

    I love you too

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