Road To Hell
A soldier’s madness leads him on a dark journey to find Ellen; whom he believes will lead him back to his purpose in life. On the road to Edge City he discovers two strippers who have been on a bloody killing spree.
Talk about bad horror movies, Road to Hell is cheap horror with a touch of musical catastrophe. In my opinion I could have done without the musical bits. More strippers, mainly more scenes with Clare Kramer being a sexy bad ass, and more blood would have made this movie much easier to watch. If we’re being completely honest, for the last part of the movie I was literally in pain watching Michael Pare’s bad soap opera acting, and I may have muted the last scene out of necessity to my sanity.
If you really loved this movie and hate my review at least know that if we had half stars here at Filmbalaya I would have given this movie one and a half stars. As it stands, Adam still refuses to even consider such an idea. So one star it is.
Showtimes for Road to Hell: Thursday, December 6th 9:00pm (Roxie Theatre)
Ever fantasize about killing someone? How would you do it? Michal Kosakowski explores these questions in Zero Killed. In this documentary he allows a group of people to play out their murder fantasies on film. This taboo topic sounds extremely exciting doesn’t it? Mixed with interviews from both director and actors, Zero killed is, at best, mildly interesting. I wasn’t blown away, nor do I quite remember any scene that really jumped out at me.
Honestly, when I’m searching for movies I tend to look for things that might hint at being the quality of an actual movie. By now I should know better, yet, I still get tricked by titles sometimes. I was more fascinated by the title and the idea rather than the movie itself. Unfortunate really.
Showtimes for Zero Killed: Sunday, Dec. 9 7:00pm (Roxie Theatre)
Special thanks need to be given to SF Indiefest for putting on a festival like Another Hole in The Head. I think I speak for many when I say there can never be enough stripper horror movies. Having said that, Cross Bearer is a dark drug induced movie about a Jesus freak, driven by faith, who goes on a rampage killing strippers. What about that description doesn’t sound awesome?
When I watch a horror movie, like many others, I seek out certain things. For me, these things are the corner-stone for all great horror films. Director Adam Ahlbrandt executed these important scenes in his dark and twisted tale that left nothing to the imagination. The scenery and unnerving soundtrack which gave life to some graphic bloody death scenes and topless strippers doing drugs while performing slightly less than award-winning acting was the cherry atop the cake. Yep, this is pretty much what I look for when watching horror.
Showtimes for Cross Bearer: Saturday, Dec. 8th 11:00pm (Roxie Theatre)