Coming Soon to IndieFest 2014: “How to be a Man”, “Aldo” and “Objects Attack!”

How to be a Man

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three-stars15BROMANCE ALERT! BROMANCE ALERT! This is a film that drowns you in full-on unrestrained masculinity at its stupidest. It’s also a film that will not be enjoyed by those unwilling to wade through the many vulgar bro-ish monologues of a self destructive comedian.

I don’t have to be slapped in the face a hundred times in order to gain a further appreciation for how much I hate being slapped in the face even once, nor do I have to sit through an entire film of fart jokes and locker room humor in order to have the irony of How to be a Man be lost on me. But I’m glad I did. And while I didn’t find every joke funny – unless I’m watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail or O Brother, Where Art Thou?, I hardly ever do – there were still more than enough to have me laughing more than I would most any other comedy.

If you find jokes about breast cancer, rape, hard drugs, and mom fucking offensive, even for irony’s sake, stay away from this film. Everyone else, enjoy.

Showtimes for How to be a Man:

Thursday, Feb 13th 9:15pm (New Parkway)
Saturday, Feb 15th 7:00pm (Roxie)
Sunday, Feb 16th 12:15pm (Roxie)

Aldo

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two-stars1Engulfed in its indie-ness, this slow burning minimal paced film has all the charm of watching a turtle try to navigate its way across a freeway i.e., there’s a lot of time spent watching events slowly unfold for an underdeveloped character, only to reach an inevitable conclusion and not care when it happens.

With its black and white photography and an electric moody guitar score similar – adequate enough, yet vastly inferior – to that of what musician Neil Young did on Jim Jarmusch‘s Dead Man, the plot is as follows:

Aldo live in Los Angeles.
Aldo cuts hair.
Aldo gambles.
Aldo’s in debt.
Aldo’s in trouble.

I didn’t get much out of this very matter-of-fact, simplistic, and ultimately hollow story, other than my now strong urge to revisit Dead Man and the Coen BrothersMan Who Wasn’t There, that is. So, I guess that’s something.

Showtimes for Aldo:
Wednesday, Feb 12th 9:15pm (New Parkway)
Saturday, Feb 15th 7:00pm (Roxie)
Tuesday, Feb 18th 9:15pm (Roxie)

Objects Attack

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paper-star1Midnight movies do not have to be synonymous with crap. Please keep this mind when programming next year’s midnight screenings.

What it boils down to is life is too short to waste even an iota of my mind power on a film so clearly nobody put any thought into. So why should I? There you have it. So, see this if you insist, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Showtimes for Objects Attack:
Saturday, Feb 8th 11:30pm (Roxie)
Friday, Feb 14th 11:30pm (Roxie)

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Categories: IndieFest, Reviews

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