Days of Summer #6: Thom Eberhart’s “Captain Ron” (1992)

crIn my book, there’s a distinct difference between “Summer Movies” and “Movies to Watch During Summer”, although they’re not mutually exclusive terms. While the term “Summer Movie” denotes a big-budget Hollywood blockbuster released during the months of May, June, July, or August, it is typically the case that these films have very little to do with the actual season. In this feature, I’ll be ranting and raving about my favorite “Movies to Watch During Summer”, to anybody who cares to listen.

crCaptain Ron (1992, Dir: Thom Eberhart)

Look, Boss. I want you to think of Kurt Russell‘s greatest film role. I think you know which one I’m talking about. Right, Boss?

You know. The eyepatch? The gravelly voice? The unkempt hair? The rogue, laid-back attitude?

If you guessed Snake Plissken in Escape from New York, you’re dead wrong. We’re talking about his other eye-patched character, Boss. We’re talking about Captain Ron Rico.

So here’s the story, Boss. There’s this family. The Harveys. Real high-strung city types. They think they’ve struck it rich when they inherit a yacht and decide to sail it to Miami to have it sold off. Only hitch in their plan? Turns out the yacht is an old junker that no sane captain would ever help them sail.

Enter Captain Ron.

From the moment Kurt Russell swaggers onto the scene with an eyepatch, dreadlocks, a rasta cap, and an endless supply of laid-back drunken confidence, it’s clear that this is a very special movie, Boss. Captain Ron agrees to set sail with the Harveys and immediately begins causing all kinds of mayhem, including getting the kids drunk, risking everyone’s lives with his haphazard boating skills, and running afoul of some dangerous gorillas guerillas.

Russell’s flawless performance alone makes Captain Ron an essential summer classic, but let’s not forget the unsung work here from Martin Short and Mary Kay Place as the hapless Harveys, who do wonders to help anchor the radical proceedings.

Best Way to Watch: Take a page from old Captain Ron’s book and just cut loose. Leave your shirt unbuttoned, lay back, and just take it all in, Boss. If you have access to a TV located either on a rickety old vessel or a charming but sleazy tiki lounge, chances are there will be a well-loved VHS copy of Captain Ron somewhere in your immediate vicinity.

Best Paired with:  The official Captain Ron cocktail is a tasty insta-hangover combo of Captain Morgan’s and Juicy Juice. The virgin version of this would be just Juicy Juice. If you don’t have access to Juicy Juice or simply don’t know what that is, just pour something in a hollowed-out coconut and call it a day, Boss.

Further Viewing: What About Bob is what happens when Bill Murray follows you on your summer vacation.


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Categories: Features, Reviews

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